Gimme Five: She

Most rock is made by a “he”, so “she” comes up a lot as a foil, some more blunt than others. ¬†Here’s five of my favorite examples: 1. “Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic”, The Police I know that funerals aren’t supposed to be entertaining, but I really love this song, and it is […]

Gimmie Five: 2013 Grammy-Nominated Albums

I normally slag on the Grammys around this time of year. ¬†It’s always a well-deserved slagging.

The Grammys are usually the standard bearer of out-of-touchness, but in the two years I’ve been writing this blog the Grammy’s more compelling¬†story lines¬†actually played out to, according to my tastes, a victorious result. ¬†When the nominees for 2013 came out, I was excited to see what¬†match-ups¬†might pit an underdog against a platinum-selling artist, or a genre-out-of-water race for one of the bigger awards… but not a lot of that this year. ¬†Hardly anything worth getting worked up for at all. ¬†Oh, I’ll still watch–something entertaining, or at least entertainingly¬†disastrous, will happen. ¬†Hopefully by/to Kanye West.

The¬†match-ups¬†suck, but there are some albums that I like that are nominated. ¬†Not my two favorite ones(later…), but at least five good ones. ¬†These five, in fact. Continue reading “Gimmie Five: 2013 Grammy-Nominated Albums”

Gimme Five: The Overwrought

A definition, if you will:

O-ver-wrought (oh-ver-rawt), adj.

1. extremely or excessively excited or agitated: to becomeoverwrought on hearing bad news; an overwrought personality.
2. elaborated to excess; excessively complex or ornate: writtenin a florid, overwrought style.
3. Archaic . wearied or exhausted by overwork.
It’s the old definition that best¬†describes¬†these songs. ¬†Beautiful? ¬†Sure. ¬†Enough is enough, though. ¬†And these songs have finally tipped the scales… Continue reading “Gimme Five: The Overwrought”

The Pirate George Advent Calendar: Day Thirteen – Gimme 5: British Christmas Traditions

(Note: this day is dedicated to John Sewell (the one in England. ¬†I have two…), in thanks for letting me bug him about cultural topics. ¬†And for not having me¬†assassinated¬†for calling him Johnny Seaweed. ¬†Thanks, John, for great musical introductions,¬†superfluous¬†“u”‘s, and tolerance. ¬†Happy Christmas.)

1. The Ashen Faggot

Yes, you can say it out loud; it’s a real thing. ¬†Wassailers(think “drunk carolers”) carry around a bundle of sticks from an ash tree, which is¬†ceremoniously¬†tossed into the fire. ¬†When one of the willow stems that bind the sticks burns and pops? ¬†Drink! ¬†Nothing says “Happy Birthday, Jesus” like fortified cider punch and fire. Continue reading “The Pirate George Advent Calendar: Day Thirteen – Gimme 5: British Christmas Traditions”

[UPDATE]Gimme Five: Girls Who Rock

I have known quite a few girls, and many of them did rock*. ¬†Here are five, though, who effected my music tastes more than the others. ¬†In their honor, I gave them a song that reminds me of their influence, and I asked them to give a guest editorial of the tune. ¬†Not on the list? ¬†Maybe I think you’re not a girl, but a lady. . . also, I pick five. ¬†That’s my thing. ¬†Even my porno website does “Gimme Five Or Less”.

Anyway, say “hello” to. . .¬† Continue reading “[UPDATE]Gimme Five: Girls Who Rock”

Gimme Five: Worst Orchestra Hits

You know what button this was on your Casio keyboard. ¬†No, not the one that played the Rick Astley tune; that was the “Demo” button. ¬†I’m talking about that string/synth abomination called “Orchestra Hit”. ¬†If you don’t know what it is, think of it as a Ceti eel put in place by a MDMA-relaxed Freedom Williams. ¬†If you don’t know what a Ceti eel is, or who Freedom Williams is, then you’re reading this post on your phone. ¬†Just a guess. ¬†Every orchestra hit is horrible. ¬†Here are the worst. Continue reading “Gimme Five: Worst Orchestra Hits”

Gimme Five: Elvis And/Or Drugs

On August 16th, 1977, Elvis Presley passed away at the age of 42. ¬†He died as he lived; high on prescription medication with an enlarged colon. ¬†To my musical palette Elvis has become less of an easy target. ¬†Maybe it’s time to lay off the drug-use jokes, too. ¬†In an attempt to say “no hard feelings” to the Elvis estate, here are five of my favorites Elvis tracks, along with five personal run-ins with drugs. ¬†Let’s rock!

Continue reading “Gimme Five: Elvis And/Or Drugs”