Gimme Five: She

Most rock is made by a “he”, so “she” comes up a lot as a foil, some more blunt than others.  Here’s five of my favorite examples: 1. “Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic”, The Police I know that funerals aren’t supposed to be entertaining, but I really love this song, and it is […]

Gimmie Five: 2013 Grammy-Nominated Albums

I normally slag on the Grammys around this time of year.  It’s always a well-deserved slagging.

The Grammys are usually the standard bearer of out-of-touchness, but in the two years I’ve been writing this blog the Grammy’s more compelling story lines actually played out to, according to my tastes, a victorious result.  When the nominees for 2013 came out, I was excited to see what match-ups might pit an underdog against a platinum-selling artist, or a genre-out-of-water race for one of the bigger awards… but not a lot of that this year.  Hardly anything worth getting worked up for at all.  Oh, I’ll still watch–something entertaining, or at least entertainingly disastrous, will happen.  Hopefully by/to Kanye West.

The match-ups suck, but there are some albums that I like that are nominated.  Not my two favorite ones(later…), but at least five good ones.  These five, in fact. Continue reading “Gimmie Five: 2013 Grammy-Nominated Albums”

Gimme Five: The Overwrought

A definition, if you will:

O-ver-wrought (oh-ver-rawt), adj.

1. extremely or excessively excited or agitated: to becomeoverwrought on hearing bad news; an overwrought personality.
2. elaborated to excess; excessively complex or ornate: writtenin a florid, overwrought style.
3. Archaic . wearied or exhausted by overwork.
It’s the old definition that best describes these songs.  Beautiful?  Sure.  Enough is enough, though.  And these songs have finally tipped the scales… Continue reading “Gimme Five: The Overwrought”

The Pirate George Advent Calendar: Day Thirteen – Gimme 5: British Christmas Traditions

(Note: this day is dedicated to John Sewell (the one in England.  I have two…), in thanks for letting me bug him about cultural topics.  And for not having me assassinated for calling him Johnny Seaweed.  Thanks, John, for great musical introductions, superfluous “u”‘s, and tolerance.  Happy Christmas.)

1. The Ashen Faggot

Yes, you can say it out loud; it’s a real thing.  Wassailers(think “drunk carolers”) carry around a bundle of sticks from an ash tree, which is ceremoniously tossed into the fire.  When one of the willow stems that bind the sticks burns and pops?  Drink!  Nothing says “Happy Birthday, Jesus” like fortified cider punch and fire. Continue reading “The Pirate George Advent Calendar: Day Thirteen – Gimme 5: British Christmas Traditions”

[UPDATE]Gimme Five: Girls Who Rock

I have known quite a few girls, and many of them did rock*.  Here are five, though, who effected my music tastes more than the others.  In their honor, I gave them a song that reminds me of their influence, and I asked them to give a guest editorial of the tune.  Not on the list?  Maybe I think you’re not a girl, but a lady. . . also, I pick five.  That’s my thing.  Even my porno website does “Gimme Five Or Less”.

Anyway, say “hello” to. . .  Continue reading “[UPDATE]Gimme Five: Girls Who Rock”

Gimme Five: Worst Orchestra Hits

You know what button this was on your Casio keyboard.  No, not the one that played the Rick Astley tune; that was the “Demo” button.  I’m talking about that string/synth abomination called “Orchestra Hit”.  If you don’t know what it is, think of it as a Ceti eel put in place by a MDMA-relaxed Freedom Williams.  If you don’t know what a Ceti eel is, or who Freedom Williams is, then you’re reading this post on your phone.  Just a guess.  Every orchestra hit is horrible.  Here are the worst. Continue reading “Gimme Five: Worst Orchestra Hits”

Gimme Five: Elvis And/Or Drugs

On August 16th, 1977, Elvis Presley passed away at the age of 42.  He died as he lived; high on prescription medication with an enlarged colon.  To my musical palette Elvis has become less of an easy target.  Maybe it’s time to lay off the drug-use jokes, too.  In an attempt to say “no hard feelings” to the Elvis estate, here are five of my favorites Elvis tracks, along with five personal run-ins with drugs.  Let’s rock!

Continue reading “Gimme Five: Elvis And/Or Drugs”

Gimme Five: Lakes

That’s right: lakes.  Ponds just weren’t rockin’ enough to make the cut.

1) Lake Of Dracula


There was a time in my life, roughly from 1994-2000, when I was both insulated from popular music and plugged into fantastic new music that could be referred to, gloriously, as unpopular.  Not just “unpopular” meaning “not on the radio” but “unpopular” as in “random people, upon listening, will most likely either question your taste in music or God’s sovereignty”(A prime example of my musical enviroment is that, in 1997, I bought Ok Computer a couple of weeks after it came out, a fantastic album, and was positively ridiculed by my friends).  The majority of this music came from two record companies: Gravity Records and SKIN GRAFT Records. It is difficult to separate a feeling of nostalgia from my love of these tunes, but they are still important parts of my catalog of albums, and, sonically, these albums remain on the fringe of what I’m currently digging. Continue reading “Gimme Five: Lakes”