[Please note: this conceit is totally ripped off from the finest minds of the Internet, Every Day Should Be Saturday. Please read them often.]
In our essay, “The Pirate George Advent Calendar: Day Six”, we described the guitar sounds of David Bowie’s “Heroes” as “Adrian Belew squonk.” The guitarist on that song was actually Robert Fripp. We regret the error.
The names of Arthur Brown’s cats were listed as Hesherpuff and Prissyfist in our lifestyles feature, “LSD:ASPCA”. Those are actually the names of the unicorns that live in Brown’s left and right ear, respectively. His cats are named Frank and Beans. We regret the error.
In the article, “Teen Tunez”, written for Pirate George For Rock Kidz!, we stated that “Taylor Swift’s music is the aural equivalent of drowning in the scalding-hot piss streaming from tens of thousands of fallen angels.” The accompanying photo should have been credited to Robert Mapplethorpe, not Andres Serrano. We regret the error.
In our link for the “Pansy Boys” podcast, we mentioned that Morrisey would be speaking about his “On Wee” brand of prophylactics. The correct spelling of the condom brand is “Ennui”. We regret the error.
We agreed with Karl Lagerfeld in his interview, “Queen Bitch: Fashion-Forward Rock”, that you do “never see Adele and James Corden in the same room together.” They were, in fact, seen together at this year’s Brit Awards. We regret the error.
The dessert recipe from GG Allin in our “PUNK! ROCK! COOK!” feature was listed as “14 Year Old Fudge”. Many readers pointed out that the actual recipe we printed was for the fruit salad, called “I’m Gonna Grape You”. We regret the error.
In our article, “Keepin Shit Streets”, we listed Nicki Minaj’s porn name as “Clit
Black”. Manij’s publicist reached out to inform The Pirate George Letters and its readers that “Clit Black” is an imposter in the adult film world, trying to capitalize on their client’s success. Minaj’s real porn name is “Clit Eastwood”. We regret the error.
In “Today’s Discerning Ear: Amateur Music Criticism”, we wrote, “today’s music listener is concerned about the inconsistent use of the trumpet in modern interpretations of Mozart’s Requiem Mass, especially considering the role the trumpet played in reinforcing tympani parts in pieces from the same period.” We meant to write, “today’s music listener is concerned about whether Lady Gaga has a dick or not”. We regret the error.
In our gossip feature, “Blind Item Rock Secrets”, we wrote, “Which rock star had a screaming fit with the TSA agents at LAX for being detained after finding two quarts of panda semen discreetly hidden in a suitcase without being declared?” This information was meant to be in the feature, “Another Good Reason To Hate Charlotte Church”, and not a blind item. We regret the error.
In our health feature, “Dr. Oz Quacks About Music, Too!”, Dr. Oz is quoted as saying that Smashmouth is “the number one cause of Down’s Syndrome in today’s children.” Although the disclaimer before the article states that “Dr Oz’s opinions do not reflect those of The Pirate George Letters” and “Dr. Oz is more full of shit than, oh, Shit Cake”, we would like to point out that if his statement were true, than the rate of Down’s Syndrome cases would be drastically lower. We regret the error.
In our “Corrections” post, we accidentally switched the captions of the two photos. Our sincere apologies to Thurston Moore, whose pet beaver, Grand Canyon, died of natural causes on Valentine’s Day. We regret the error.
In our “Movies That Rock” feature, we stated that the latest installment of the Final Destination series would feature the Angel of Death and the ghost of Cliff Burton hunting down the remaining members of Metallica and killing them in gruesome, creative, and impossible ways as both penance for escaping Death the night Burton was killed and for escaping the death of their careers for making putrid music after …And Justice For All. Although Mastodon’s Bill Kelliher and Brann Dailor have completed the script, the film will only be made after Ulrich’s lawsuit is challenged in court. We really, really regret the error.